Do you ever feel like, I've had enough of this shit, I'm outta here?
There once was a point in my life where i would just push and push to get all the things done... for my family, where they needed to be, what they were doing, how they were cared for, while carrying all the things of others that needed handled, and all while doing the necessary things that i needed to be doing for my businesses.
I really wasn't aware of how all the pressure from the emotional labor was affecting me physically. The physical labor, sure, you can feel that....but the other stuff, no, you just do it. Until you cant any more.
I was so numb that there were no internal signals that i could feel.....until i was screaming or going nuts...hahaha....but, looking back, the signs were all there.
The procrastination, the arguing and fighting with my family, the resentment towards my spouse or others in my life, the eating on the fly, no physical movement...hell, who has time for that, I'm drowning, people...lol...
But the biggest and most painful impact was the disconnection from myself. At the end of the day, i was in a rumpled heap and too tired to care by the end of it all.
Looking back the disconnect in every area of my life was really what was wrong....disconnection from what i wanted for me, for and from my body, from my relationships, my work....all of it.
The other day after leaving the gym, i felt it again....the weight. Not the weights....but the weight of it all. Year end...holidays...tired, not body tired, but soul tired, ya know?
And i thought about the summer, and the ocean. And i felt a flicker, it was really quick, like butterflies in my belly, just for a quick moment. Then heard the whisper of we gotta get the fuck outta here.
And there you have it, it finally made its way to the surface from underneath all of life's clutter...the sign i needed...i checked my schedule, no clients in this time block, i grabbed my books (nobody says i have to do my work at my desk at home except me) and i hopped in the car and headed to the only place where the air smells like pine trees and salt water mixed together.
The weight was lifted, my shoulders had fallen from around my ears to somewhere where they belong and i reconnected with me for a few hours.
All of this is to say....can you feel it within you when your body needs a break? What are the signs/signals that your body is sending? Can you feel it?
How are you reconnecting with you?
Everything you have on your list right now isn't going anywhere. I promise.
Steal away. You don't need a lot of time to create space for you to breathe, think, feel and find you again.
I guarantee that small amount of time and space you create for yourself, will pay off in so many ways, in every area of your life, once you start showing up for you♥ <3