Recently I caught myself in an old pattern that really used to keep me stuck. I hate being stuck. I really do. I know that we all worry at one time or another, we’re human, but a very common pattern for me would be to struggle into my worry pants right at bed time.
That’s right. Right at bedtime, that’s exactly what I need.
It’s not something that I consciously think about; in fact, it drives me out of my mind, as typically I have a limited number of hours to get some sleep and here my brain is creating a bunch of shit to worry about. Seriously, couldn’t we have addressed all of these imagined scenarios of how everything is not going to work out and how everyone is suffering immensely and I can’t do a damn thing about it during the day, when I’m a bit more rational? Which takes me to the “F” word or the other “F” word I should say.
On this night, I happened to let this power session of imagined calamity go on for twenty minutes before it dawned on me that I was focusing on the wrong “F” word (and not the “F” word you would think, well, that was there too, but it was not the one that had my primary focus.) I knew I was getting caught up in stacking my thoughts, one on top of the other, with each thought heavier than the last. That’s when it occurred to me that I was focusing on fear and not on faith. Faith is a funny thing when you’re busy worrying. It’s almost like its nowhere to be found. But eventually it all gets too heavy and you just can’t hold on anymore. It was right then that I decided to just put it all down for a minute to gather my thoughts. I’m not sure what your beliefs are, God, Higher Power, Universe, whatever it may be, for me the thought of physically handing this big ole bag o’ worry over to someone else to hold, sure does help. Like “here, can you hold this for a minute, I’m kinda losing my shit right now?”
In that moment I could see that that act takes a certain amount of faith. Faith that I’m not alone. Faith that the answer will come. Faith in myself. Faith in those around me. Faith that I will be taken care of and so will whomever I was worrying about. That things are as they should be right now. As I began stacking these thoughts, I could see that faith was the better word to focus on.
Truth of the matter is; we have the same amount of faith in us as we do fear. It’s just a matter of which “F” word you choose to focus on.
As soon as I shifted my focus I could feel the pressure lighten up a bit, I could take that snowball thinking and quickly switch it over to gratitude, which was what I really needed at the time. Sometimes when we are stressed and so busy doing all the time or when we are tired and our guard is down, we forget to remember that those things are there for us too.
What do you do when your worry pants become too tight? (You know you wear them too) What do you focus on first and how do you lighten it up? Let’s discuss in the comments below. I would love to hear about what’s working or not working for you.