There is a lot to be learned by keeping quiet and listening


There are so many similarities between me and my 13-year-old daughter. And at times, we couldn’t be more opposite...okay well, most of the time we are opposite, but when things do line up, I am able to understand a bit more about her and a little more about me. With our hormones raging in the exact same way, our stubborn thickheadedness and our tendency of both needing to have the last word, things can be a little interesting to say the very least. (interesting is the nice word for loud and screechy, like in a herd of screaming monkeys, kind of way…just in case you didn’t know)

While we were out eating breakfast this morning, it was one of those rare moments where there was an easy exchange of conversation, laughing, joking and understanding.  It was also one of those very rare moments where I just shut up and listened.  As she was describing the latest drama, her thoughts of the upcoming school year, where she was going and what she was hoping for, I couldn’t help but see that some of the things she was sharing were some of the exact things that I am dealing with too.   

 There is this part of me that doesn’t know the exact right thing to do with drama either.  I too, like to work things out in my head about what I think will happen down the road and I’m still hoping for what seems almost impossible to come to fruition for me, as well.

 As she was talking, I was thinking about how I have handled some of the same situations and could see how strong and caring she really is, even though on the outside it seems that she is unaffected and it reminded me of how I have dealt with some of these types of situations.

There are times that I will not share how things or people are affecting me, afraid to share my feelings on the outside, worried about what ripple effect I may cause by saying something.  And here she was sharing the same feelings, but instead she had been weighing out the cause and effect that she would be having and whether or not it even mattered to her to say or do something about it.  In two sentences she had summed up the art of letting go.  She thought it through and it really didn’t mean that much to her to carry on with it…done, finite-oh!! Just like that.

So there is a lot to be learned by keeping quiet and listening. Firstly, while we may be years apart, some days, we really do have some of the same things going on (a little more than our crazy hormones) Hell, it seems we all have some of these things going on.  I think that truly is a human thing, as opposed to an age thing. And sometimes we worry/stress out about saying or doing the right thing, for ourselves and others. Be it dealing with drama, anticipating upcoming changes in our lives or dreaming about the future.  But the importance of weighing out what meaning you are giving things, what that means to you personally and what affect your behavior and words have on you and/or someone else is key. Once you’ve done all of those things, the path to letting go and moving forward becomes a lot clearer.