I hate feeling behind...that nagging feeling of trying to catch up or keep up. I think it’s easy to feel that feeling if you are alive, if you’re human, and especially if you are a woman, a mother or an entrepreneur… I guess it didn’t dawn on me to think about this until I was at the gym the other day.
I work out with an amazing group of women, some are younger, some are the same age and some are a little bit older. All fierce by their own right. As we were deep into a session, I noticed that I had fallen behind in the set and in the reps. Everyone else was ahead of me. For a moment I got my knickers in a bunch thinking, “damn it, I’m behind. I’m never going catch up. I should be able to keep up with everyone.”
Thankfully that was just the voice of my younger self. Yeah, she’s still in there “shoulding” on me…I should be able to do this or I should be able to do that. She’s the one that hates falling behind. I think it began somewhere in the 7th grade, math class maybe, hated it, but that’s a story for another day.
At times, she can still be pretty critical, but thankfully, my older self knows how to take care of her. As, immediately after I felt that familiar wave of panic and then me pushing myself to hurry up without thinking things through, I heard my older self say, “But you showed up, you’re still in the game.”
By listening to that voice of reason, I was able to get through the rest of the workout the way that was best for my body, I kept my head in the game and was actually able to bring my personal standard to the next level by adding an extra set rather than throwing in the towel and feeling defeated because I couldn’t keep up with everyone else.
So what do you do when you feel like you can’t keep up…be it in your everyday life, your biz, your job, or your relationships? Here are a few simple tips that you can help you stay on track…
Acknowledge that you showed up in the first place
How many times have you talked yourself out of something with some tired ass excuse when you know you could’ve just shown up and done the work? Who hasn’t done that? With that said, that absolutely isn’t the quickest way to getting to what you want. Actually that is moving in the opposite direction of where you want to be. Every single time we show up for ourselves, in the best way that we can, we start to build different kinds of muscles, some of the most essential muscles, ones that only we, ourselves, can build… self-discipline, self-confidence and self-esteem.
Starey-Comparey leads to lack of focus
Quit looking around at everyone else!! A mentor had once said to me, “Swim in your own lane.” That was one of the best pieces of advice I had ever been given. While I was busy looking at everyone else, I was losing focus on where I was supposed to be. My form was a mess, my breathing off and I was not connected to what I was trying to achieve…I was just hurrying through the motions. Think of a time when you were looking at what others were doing and feeling behind or like you were losing out…maybe in your work or relationships; how focused and connected were you to what YOU were doing? Probably not much, right? Keep your eyes in your own lane, focus on your objective and see yourself through.
Being present is key to not feeling behind. If you are focused behind you, you’ll never catch up and if you are focused too far ahead, you’ll worry that you’ll never achieve what you set out to do. Staying right in the moment and actually enjoying where you are right now is such a great gift to give yourself. It takes practice but after time, you will begin to see that you can tune in automatically. Once I shifted my focus back onto the fact that I showed up, I slowed myself down, had more compassion for myself and was able dig down deep and kick my own ass appropriately :) After all, that’s what I showed up to do.
Remember, we can decide how we show up to the things that we are doing. Choose wisely.
Big, big hugs to you!