Maybe You're Meant To Climb That Mountain Alone

I remember a time not long ago, where it felt like I was always cancelling plans or not doing the things I wanted to do, because someone in my house or everyone in my house, didn’t want to join me. 

Maybe my husband was working, too busy, or wasn’t interested in what I wanted to do or perhaps the kids didn’t want to do what I wanted to do (they’re teenagers and think everything I want to do is lame) It just seemed that whatever I wanted to do was pushed to the backburner or cancelled altogether.  This seemed to go on forever and, well, I’ve had just about enough of that.

The struggle between wanting what I want and the guilt of forcing people into doing what I want can be a bit much.  Insert picture here of me driving with a car full of mules…. yes, real live mules, not the cute ones, either…. like mean-muggin’, stubborn mule people…. that’s my family when they don’t want to be doing something.  And, then there’s the feelings of resentment from when I do push off what I want or not do it all…which can have me acting all mule-like.  It can feel like a no-win situation.

Ya just can’t make people have fun.  Actually, trying to get people to have fun is the opposite of fun.

It took me some time and lots of practice for me to realize that I am responsible for me.  If I want to have fun doing the things that I think are fun, then it’s up to me to create the time and space for ME.  Without expecting everyone to go along with or behave in the way that would please me.             

Massive lesson here.

Recently, I wanted to check out a new hiking spot.  I wasn’t sure if I was going to hike it or drive up to the top of this small mountain.  My daughter has gotten wise to asking pointed questions before getting in the car with me. 

She asked, “Are we hiking it or driving it?”  I said, “I’m not sure.”  She said, “No thanks.  I’m not climbing a mountain today.”  I’ll admit, my feelings went from pissed to hurt, because here we are again with something that I wanted to do all summer, potentially being pushed to the backburner.  I had already shoved it to the back burner, all summer long.  The time was now.  I had a decision to make.  I was done arguing about it…arguing with her, but more importantly, arguing with myself.

It wasn’t until I got to the base of the mountain, that I thought to myself, I don’t want to climb this mountain alone.  And immediately after that thought, a voice inside me said, maybe some mountains you’re meant to climb alone.

Well, damn.  I had to sit with that one for a minute. This was the exact shift I needed. 

Because I’m no dummy, I drove my ass up to the top of that little mountain and hiked the marked trails up at the very top.   It was absolutely beautiful.  It was a perfect day to see as far as the eyes could see. 

Sometimes, it’s not until we are alone that we can see the things that we need to see.  In the time that we spend alone, we can sort out struggles, ones with others and ones with ourselves.  We can create the space that we need to rest our mind, see right where we are right now and perhaps, even see right where we want to go. 

So, pay attention my friends, pay attention to the mountains that you are meant to climb alone.

Some of those mountains may just be the place you need to breathe a little easier, the air may be a bit sweeter and the world can feel like a lighter place. 

See you at the summit!